Wolfitude

24 10 2010

I’ve spent the last three weeks away from the lake lodge (and its internet access) doing my part in client services and in closing up the lower spike camps. As has happened on more than one occasion in these 5 months of being in the bush I was asked to happily labour for days alone, at each of the camps, getting what needed doin done. The experience of solitude has been amazing – just me, a camp and the denizens of the out-hereness. I am hugely grateful for the opportunity.

One day, earlier this month, I was walking aimfully with the autumn sun toward Corner Pool, a run near Tobacco Camp. I was 10 minutes down river and had just passed the path that exits the main trail toward Twilight Pool when I remembered Hannah having asked me to take out some of the dead fall that, ever-present, inhibits the clients’ easy step. My mind made up, I turned abruptly and twenty feet from me, on the path and in mid step, was a grey wolf.

At once I felt a vortex of energy2 form in my midsection and as my eyes connected with its, it gave a hop, curled its left upper lip, and let out a short but deep growl that if anthropomorphized, woulda meant, “Shit! I been had!”

It did not occur to me that I was being stalked or even that it was following me; it was just there and I was giddified! In the midst of my giddification I stayed put and shortly after the initial surprise I, in as calm and uplifting a voice as I could muster, said, “Hey 🙂 howzit goin?” Immediately, the wolf jumped to the right of the trail in to the bush and vanished.

I could hear it moving about and I did catch glimpses; the question of, ‘wolfpack’ crossed my mind. I waited on the trail with an acute awareness of the ecstatic feeling in my gut until, after about three minutes, it re-entered my sight-line into the openness of the path. It stopped to look at me and I was aware of an amping up of the vortex in my midsection. In those moments all that came to my mind to do was to again speak, “Hello.” In reply, it turned and trotted down the trail.

The wolf was just about gone from sight and I was with naught but elation for my brief and awesome encounter. Inspired to experiment, I moved the energy from midsection to chest and instantly, as quickly as it had left, the wolf turned about and returned to within thirty feet of me.

Again, we stood together, our eyes connecting us. Its ears rolled back to a position indicating calm and just like we would imagine a beloved pet, it looked about, lolled its tongue and panted. I smiled as a child. It felt to me then that it was a he, and it came to me to understand that he was willing to share his world with that which didn’t fear him. I intuited that we had just confirmed our brotherhood3.

After about three minutes, because I am, thankfully, to less and less a degree, so trained, I fell from the Awesomeness and spoke. Even as I opened my still awesome huckleberry pie hole to say something else that didn’t matter, I knew I had, for a third time in this one experience, flailed4 – he turned and walked up the path toward Tobacco. After a time, I continued on to Twilight and Corner to get done what needed doin.

The meat of this post in a paragraph: I attribute all of this, aside from my flailing, to a conscious choice, made in peace from a still place, to raise to the all accepting Love vibration and awareness of that which is me heart chakra. I experienced elation beyond few events prior and for the extended moments of a few minutes there was just a silent lucidity.

As I have since contemplated my experience, I am aware that as soon as I saw what was to become my brother the wolf, I was acutely aware of the rush of energy in my midsection between my sacral chakra and solar plexus. There was no sphincter factor5 whatsoever so I knew my self to be, in that moment, unfearful to any degree. The whole time I was open to whatever was going to happen – even after having contemplated the worst case scenario6.

At no time did I have the inclination to take out my bear spray, bear banger or tool of any sort for a defense of any kind. As I mentioned, only once did I experience the stray thought form of wolf pack and this, I gave no energy. My sphincter factor remained nonexistent.

It is my assertion that this alone allowed me to transcend the baser instinct of fight or flight and to operate within the intuitive reality of unconditional Love. Said another way, I chose to come from my heart. The next time I have the honour of meeting up with brother or sister wolf (and it will happen) I envision there being no words, only my feeling of unconditional Love directed from heart chakra, expressed toward the other I feel and know as My Self.

You might recall from my earlier posts that I am conducting an experiment this life and this experience has been integral for sure. The following was once my thesis and is now fast becoming my reality: When a wild animal feels the fear of another being’s pinched off root chakra (a sphincter factor to any degree) it reacts accordingly and assumes that what it is observing and feeling is its predator or prey. I contend that when a wild animal feels unconditional Love, which only through our conscious intention extends through our heart chakras, it feels as safe as if it were in its mother’s womb.

It occurs to me that one difference between a human and an animal is that where the animal remains in survival mode and subject to its environment, we have the potential to rise above the fear of the sphincter factor in to the objective reality of unconditional Love. Here, we know we create every aspect of our reality and our environment responds.

It also comes to mind that a similarity between us and animals is that, as humanimals7 the majority of us live in survival mode most of the time. This then, is our choice: to continue the fear based relationship we have with most everything and everyone outside (and sometimes within) our families or to realize that the cliché of, “Love Conquers All” is a cliché for a reason.

My prime lessoning from this experience comes from a classroom that I have been in, it seems for eons, and is one whose main principle is to shut this awesome huckleberry pie hole a mine and merely feel. That said I am in no way disappointed by my performance cuz:

  • There was no sphincter factor or fear;
  • I experienced the awareness to move the energy from the vibration of the lower chakras up to the heart;
  • I did shut it for a time and;
  • I look forward to the next time.

To finish I’ll let y’all in on a rambling thought going through me heed. It’s tellin me, ‘A wolf is one thing brother, but I’d like to see what you’d do if you came across the presence of a bull moose in full rut… cuz it’s that time of the year right now and in that space, they’z plum dumb!’

My answer in this moment is twofold: First, thanks for throwing out the potential of another worst case scenario for consideration and second, because I have no fear of it happening (strong emotion with which to attract), I will attract that experience not before I’m ready for it. Whether or not there’d be an initial sphincter factor is yet to be determined but with this successful experiment under me belt I’d be giving me good odds against 🙂

Again, I feel it wise to ask if at any point in the post you have felt that I have not been clear or that I am fulla baloney then please let me know. I welcome a discussion of your view.

Wolfitude is now in the Clintictionary and is a catch-all term that describes the understanding of what all animals use as language, including us of the human variety. This language has as its base, little to do with vocal utterances except as symbols or as an amplification of feeling. In other words, language has everything to do with the transmitting and receiving of emitted energy or energy in motion – emotion.

2 Energy is and is never static, and energy in vibration is a vortex. The only question for me is whether my energy is aligned, or crosswise to the vortex of my Soul’s purpose. Through the heart chakra emanates the Soul’s purpose and from our Soul, when we choose to align with it, comes a very evident Guiding Principle. If we’s crosswise to this Guiding Principle sisters n brothers, then we are as a ship without the use of our keel.

3 Brotherhood and any word describing a siblinghood such as brother, sister, brethren and sistren refers to the way I view relationship. For me, I know that you know, that I know and feel my self as one with everyone and All That Is. The highest honourific I can bestow upon you is, Brother or Sister. The Queen of England will be addressed as Sister for the same reason. Everything that has a gender is included. If it’s a tree then I may call it either 🙂 Hm, never done it to a blade of grass tho…

4 To flail is also in the Clintictionary and is defined as struggling; floundering and falling from the Awesomeness with no semblance of awareness to guide me. It will be the topic of a future post called The Quest for the Holy Flail.

5 Sphincter Factor is an expression in the Clintictionary of course, implying a tightening of the anus. For thirty some odd years of my life I held a perpetual sphincter factor of roughly 9.5 – a seriously tight anus. It is scaled between zero and ten, it happens when we experience fear, and sometimes, in its more subtler expressions, we don’t even know it! A 9.5 sphincter factor might happen when, if we are afraid of a spider, we notice one crawling up our arm. A zero sphincter factor is the goal and does not, brothers n sisters, in any way mean a gaping anus, it just means relaxed.

Further, to say that my sphincter factor remained non-existent while I was with brother wolf is not to say that I am beyond it under other circumstances – like happily labouring for instance. I’ve noticed I am forgetful of remaining focused on the perpetual open-ness of all my chakras while I labour. All of a sudden I’ll notice some lame tune going on over and over in my head and it is always combined with a sphincter factor of about 3 – again, thankfully, less and less so as I go 🙂

6 My M.O. is to consider objectively (without emotion) the worst case scenario so as to gather potential options, yet to always focus on appreciatin whatever’s in my current sphere of awareness.

7 Humanimal is a term coined by a brother from another mother, meaning to me that we as humans are paradoxically, Spirit and animal at the same time. This is a topic already covered a coupla times. At the risk of beating a dead point deader, when we don’t know we have this choice and experience the symptom of a perceived lack of choice, we always end up suffering to some degree. Basically, when we suffer we are playing the humanimal; when not, then Spirit. To say it in the positive: When we are joyful, we are experiencing life as our Spirit Selves. Sisters n brothers, don’t that feel natural? Could life be simpler?!





Of Mice and Me

16 09 2010

One of the factors I’m experiencing about bein in the bush is that of the rodent quotient. Just like bugs, they are. Period. Although mice are less prevalent in number, their sign is much easier to notice as one will find it ezactly everywhere one eats and sleeps.

The tent that I’m staying in at Tobacco Camp is a pretty good thing I gotta say. It’s a little older than the rest and the style is a little different so instead of a zipper that gives the illusion of a contained space within, the entry flaps are tied together such that the interior remains relatively open to the elements. Also, the foamy I’m using is half again as big as the 24 inch bed frame it’s supposed to rest upon so at some point in the near future I’ll widen the frame by attaching a foot add-on to one of its long sides… either that our I’ll use a different foamy. For now I’m sleeping happily, and comfortably on the floor.

Remember that meditation cushion I wrote a bit about a while ago? Well, I don’t think I told you that I’m using it as a pillow at the moment and it is stuffed with hemp hulls; the shell of the nut.

Even though there ain’t any food for them in the pillow I suppose it smells to them like there might be so every once in awhile I’m awakened by a little scuffling; a wee scratching I hear through the cushion, and I know it’s a mouse. You may have gotten by now that as much as I am aware I am in to allowing all things to be as they is, and in this context, this means that when I wave a hand above my head to shoo them away, I ain’t too far outta peaceness while doing it. The initial awareness of a little animal trying to eat through my pillow three inches from my nose can be somewhat disconcerting but after a slight flail I’m back to waving one of my arms above my head with an acceptance and a smile.

Although I’m into allowing everything, as I say, to be as they is, I’ve made mention in earlier posts of our apparent need, as ‘civilized’ humans to deal with the infestation. Be it mosquitoes, bed bugs or mice, we find that their numbers must be controlled if not, in some cases, depending on the species and the specific environment, eliminated.

However, in the case of this place (the bush) there will be no elimination by a long shot, merely a weak attempt to curb. Still, the weak attempt does pay off to some degree and certainly, after the weak attempt, we notice less sign about the eating and food preparation areas. Mainly, while we do on occasion still see them climbing the walls, the mice aren’t climbing our legs as we eat and they aren’t skittering across my forehead just as I’m about to drop in to REM mode.

The other day we hiked to Tobacco after being at the main lodge for 3 or 4 days. We dropped our packs, grabbed the tools and went to work on the trail toward Moss Camp. We finished that about 7:30-8 and then came back to camp to end the day by fishin a bit and doin up a meal. I went to bed after dark and when I got up in the morning I noticed little brown flecks on my pillow and the green mattress sheet that covers the foamy. Acourse it was mouse shit… and I know that every where there is mouse shit there is mouse piss. So I’m thinkin to my self, ‘Self, mice are, and they’re urinatin and defecatin everywhere you are too. There’s nuthin you can do about it to change it or to make it any better than it is. Period.’

Fancy Acrobatics

Now, you might be thinkin, ‘Fool! Acourse there’s something you can do about it and acourse they’re shittin on yer bed! It’s on the frickin floor! Yer doors wide open and yer using a pillow filled with hemp hulls! Jeez! How daft can a guy be?!’ Well, those of you who’re thinkin along these lines, my response to you izzat daftitude and me aren’t mutually exclusive yet I am constantly and seriously amazed. I have no idea how they get in to and on some of the places they do – fancy acrobatics I’m thinkin! They’re absolutely everywhere, so whether there is human food available or not; whether a door is open or not; or whether a bed is on the floor or two feet above the floor, out here in the sticks, it really changes nothing.

I’ve recently read a post from Chris Glass’ blog. Apparently many of his commenters have asked for a humane mouse trap. He’s come up with a great idea that’s well and good in the context of a specific environment. Chris recommends letting the captured mouse loose outside a mile’s radius but he’s obviously referring to somewheres other than here. The reason I can confidently say this is because he’s referring to ‘a’ mouse. Out here in the bush, no matter where you are or what you do, on the light side there are hundreds within a reasonable perimeter and certainly tens of thousands within the mile’s radius.

There are ways to keep them at bay, and one of the ways is to buy a shiny new table from Ikea whose legs they can’t crawl up. Another way is to lay a large enough piece of poly table cloth to cover and drape, inhibiting any fancy upside down shit they might perform so’s to get on top. Still another way is at the core of my story and one reason for this post: It’s the best mouse trap you’ll never buy and it’s the trap utilized here at camp’s Damdochax.

The Better Mouse Trap You'll Never Buy

The Better Mouse Trap You’ll Never Buy:

– Begin with a medium to large bucket and large being the common 5 gallon variety;
– Pierce a beer can through the centers of its top and bottom;
– String a length of bailing wire through the holes in the can;
– Pierce the lip of the bucket on opposing points of its circumference;
– Affix the wire with the can to the two holes on the lip of the bucket;
– Fill the bucket with three inches of water;
– Spread peanut butter around the middle of the can;
– Set anywhere there are rampant rodent types;
– Lay a stick from the ground to the rim of the bucket;
– Check and dump the contents every morning;
– Refill and re-bait as needed.

Yer good to go. But like most traps, the downside to this one izzat it ain’t particular. Shrews, lemmings, voles, moles and all sorts of little life forms that aren’t part of an infestation get done in too.

This brings us to the second reason for this post: We humans, in our physical state here in density #3, are destructors – pure and simple. In our perceived need to eat food for survival’s sake, even if we are raw vegans, we must still kill the plants we consume. Check out Katherine Turner’s blog post about Acknowledged Symbiosis if you like. It’s very cool.

Acknowledged Symbiosis

Question: Have you ever brightened up your toilet with a chemical cleaner? If so, then you’ve done in millions of little life forms. As human beings, we can certainly reduce our impact but the only way we will ever not leave a footprint is to become that which we are, have always been and will always be – Spirit.

Our current state as human beings is both dual and a paradox in that we are at once animal and spiritual. As I’ve come to suspect, the whole reason for our being here on Planet Earth, is to realize and experience the quantum leap from our relative animal state of destruction, suffering, survival mode and separation mentality to our absolute spiritual state of creation, constant enjoyment, thrival and unity consciousness.

In absolute reality we are One with All That Is and in our relative experience we are indeed one with the infestation because we, in our current mass mentality of separation, are ourselves such a thing. Yet, we have the potential for infinitely more. The result of this realization and the simple intention to aspire to becoming our Infinite and Eternal, Authentic Spirit Selves, is that our lives, at first slowly, begin to improve and then, the more we stay with our intention, by leaps and bounds, turn in to an adventure; a fun game (watch Bill Hicks).

The third and final reason for this post is to put to print the concept of the acceptance of ourselves as destructors. Only through accepting all the characteristics (good and bad) of our current state in individual form – that which is – can we begin to transcend our suffering, animal state. Our reality works in this way: what we focus on expands. If we, in any way fight, deny, hate or resist that which is then we cause the result of these thought forms (negative emotions) to increase. In the projection of our emotions, because this reality and everything in it is a mirror, we cause ourselves to suffer. Also, the more emotion we attribute to our focus, be it in the direction of resistance or of allowing, the quicker that which we focus upon manifests. Even in the midst of our destruction we create more of that which causes us to suffer – another paradox.

To bring this post all together: Again, the mice are. When we allow them to be as they are instead of being mildly pissed at their existence in our homes and when we honour them to be as our fellow life forms of density #3, we jump off the rollercoaster ride of negative judgement and destruction, on to the bandwagon of positive creation, thereby increasing our enjoyment factor. Don’t not take them out; don’t not clean our toilets. Certainly, make our specific environments a little less mousy and a little less dirty but, accept that which is; honour all that is; and love unconditionally, even while practicing destruction.

Okay sisters and brothers, here is my very own reality check expressed to you: I am still in the process of practicing what I think I know. In other words, there is always a distinct possibility that I may be fulla baloney. It is clear to me however that through my flailing and mistake making I become more and more clear about the characteristics of who I desire to be and who I really am – my Infinite and Eternal, Authentic Self. Thus, for evermore, you are welcome to disregard everything that comes outta this awesome huckleberry pie hole I call my mouth.

Case in point: Last night, back at the Lake Camp, while I was in the deeps of REM mode (the dream now forgotten), I was freakin awakened by the same said meece I was talkin about bein at relative peaceness with earlier in the post. I detected a distinctive yet muted pitter-patter/skitter that entered my dream and got progressively louder. The critical moment of my extreme flail came to pass when the pitter-patter was felt, yea, about 3 inches from my nose and I came to the realization that a mouse was hiking up my sleeping bag.

If there was a camera on me you could have witnessed a degree of flailing and slashing about that would have no doubt rivaled the antics of a mental hospital inmate… and I am referring to those candidates for straight jackets. Though I didn’t see it the mouse musta went aflying; you would have needed no further evidence of my deficiency or, as I prefer to call it – my lackalacka. Your observation would have been akin to me jumping out of my skin as the gong was struck behind me while I meditated. No surprise, there is still awareness to achieve 🙂

The experience ended after I laughed aloud at myself in the realization that this was the perfect ending to the post called Of Mice and Me. Actually; the experience ended about 20 minutes later when I fell back asleep.

The Universe continues to humblize me and to my great relief, I continue to be reminded that I don’t know a thing. I continue to grow in to the remembrance of my Infinite and Eternal Authentic Spirit Self.

The Adventure Continues 🙂 Yippee n Yeeehaw!

One of the factors I’m experiencing about bein in the bush is that of the rodent quotient. Just like bugs, they are. Period. Although mice are less prevalent in number, their sign is much easier to notice as one will find it ezactly everywhere one eats and sleeps.

The tent that I’m staying in at Tobacco Camp is a pretty good thing I gotta say. It’s a little older than the rest and the style is a little different so instead of a zipper that gives the illusion of a contained space within, the entry flaps are tied together such that the interior remains relatively open to the elements. Also, the foamy I’m using is half again as big as the 24 inch bed frame it’s supposed to rest upon so at some point in the near future I’ll widen the frame by attaching a foot add-on to one of its long sides… either that our I’ll use a different foamy. For now I’m sleeping happily, and comfortably on the floor.

Remember that meditation cushion I wrote a bit about a while ago? Well, I don’t think I told you that:

  1. I’m using it as a pillow at the moment; and
  2. It is stuffed with hemp hulls; the shell of the nut.

Even though there ain’t any food for them in the pillow I suppose it smells to them like there might be so every once in awhile I’m awakened by a little scuffling; a wee scratching I hear through the cushion, and I know it’s a mouse. You may have gotten by now that I’m in to allowing all things to be as they is (as much as I am aware) and in this context, this means that when I wave a hand above my head to shoo them away, I ain’t too far outta peaceness while doing it. The initial awareness of a little animal trying to eat through my pillow three inches from my nose can be somewhat disconcerting but after a slight flail I’m back to waving one of my arms above my head with an acceptance and a smile.

Although I’m into allowing everything, as I say, to be as they is, I’ve made mention in earlier posts of our apparent need, as ‘civilized’ humans to deal with the infestation. Be it mosquitoes, bed bugs or mice, we find that their numbers must be controlled if not, in some cases, depending on the species and the specific environment, eliminated.

However, in the case of this place (the bush) there will be no elimination by a long shot, merely a weak attempt to curb. Still, the weak attempt does pay off to some degree and certainly, after the weak attempt, we notice less sign about the eating and food preparation areas. Mainly, while we do on occasion still see them climbing the walls, the mice aren’t climbing our legs as we eat and they aren’t skittering across my forehead just as I’m about to drop in to REM mode.

The other day we hiked to Tobacco after being at the main lodge for 3 or 4 days. We dropped our packs, grabbed the tools and went to work on the trail toward Moss Camp. We finished that about 7:30-8 and then came back to camp to end the day by fishin a bit and doin up a meal. I went to bed after dark and when I got up in the morning I noticed little brown flecks on my pillow and the green mattress sheet that covers the foamy. Acourse it was mouse shit… and I know that every where there is mouse shit there is mouse piss. So I’m thinkin to my self, ‘Self, mice are, and they’re urinatin and defecatin everywhere you are too. There’s nuthin you can do about it to change it or to make it any better than it is. Period.’


Fancy Acrobatics

Now, you might be thinkin, ‘Fool! Acourse there’s something you can do about it and acourse they’re shittin on yer bed! It’s on the frickin floor! Plus, yer using a pillow filled with hemp hulls! Jeez!’ Well, those of you who’re thinkin along these lines, my response to you izzat I am constantly and seriously amazed. I have no idea how they get in to and on some of the places they do – fancy acrobatics I’m thinkin! Also, they’re absolutely everywhere, so whether there is human food available or not; whether a bed is on the floor or two feet above the floor, out here in the sticks, it really changes nothing.

I’ve recently read a post from Chris Glass’ blog. Apparently many of his commenters have asked for a humane mouse trap. He’s come up with a great idea that’s well and good in the context of a specific environment. Chris recommends letting the captured mouse loose outside a mile’s radius but he’s obviously referring to somewheres other than here. The reason I can confidently say this is because he’s referring to ‘a’ mouse. Out here in the bush, no matter where you are or what you do, on the light side there are hundreds within a reasonable perimeter and certainly tens of thousands within the mile’s radius.


Shiny New Ikea Table

There are ways to keep them at bay, and one of the ways is to buy a shiny new table from Ikea whose legs they can’t crawl up. Another way is to lay a large enough piece of poly table cloth to cover and drape, inhibiting any fancy upside down shit they might perform so’s to get on top. Still another way is at the core of my story and one reason for this post: It’s the best mouse trap you’ll never buy and it’s the trap utilized here at camp’s Damdochax.

The Damdochax Mouse Trap:


The Damdochax Mouse Trap

  • Begin with a medium to large bucket and large being the common 5 gallon variety;
  • Pierce a beer can through the centers of its top and bottom;
  • String a length of bailing wire through the holes in the can;
  • Pierce the lip of the bucket on opposing points of its circumference;
  • Affix the wire with the can to the two holes on the lip of the bucket;
  • Fill the bucket with three inches of water;
  • Spread peanut butter around the middle of the can;
  • Set anywhere there are rampant rodent types;
  • Lay a stick from the ground to the rim of the bucket;
  • Check and dump the contents every morning;
  • Refill and re-bait as needed.

Yer good to go but like most traps, the downside to this one izzat it ain’t particular. Shrews, lemmings, voles, moles and all sorts of little life forms that aren’t part of an infestation get done in too.

This brings us to the second reason for this post: We humans, in our physical state here in density #3, are destructors – pure and simple. In fact, in our perceived need to eat food for survival’s sake, even if we are raw vegans, we must still kill the plants we consume. Check out Katherine Turner’s blog post about Acknowledged Symbiosis if you like. It’s very cool.


Acknowledged Symbiosis

Question: Have you ever brightened up your toilet with a chemical cleaner? If so, then you’ve done in millions of little life forms. As human beings, we can certainly reduce our impact but the only way we will ever not leave a footprint is to become that which we are, have always been and will always be – Spirit.

Our current state as human beings is both dual and a paradox in that we are at once animal and spiritual. As I’ve come to suspect, the whole reason for our being here on Planet Earth, is to realize and experience the quantum leap from our relative animal state of destruction, suffering, survival mode and separation mentality to our absolute spiritual state of creation, constant enjoyment, thrival and unity consciousness.

In absolute reality we are One with All That Is and in our relative experience we are indeed one with the infestation because we are ourselves, in our current mass mentality of separation, such a thing yet, we have the potential for infinitely more. The result of this realization and the simple intention to aspire to becoming our Infinite and Eternal, Authentic Spirit Selves, is that our lives, at first slowly, begin to improve and then, the more we stay with our intention, by leaps and bounds, turn in to an adventure; a fun game (watch Bill Hicks).

The third and final reason for this post is to put to print the concept of the acceptance of ourselves as destructors. Only through accepting all the characteristics (good and bad) of our current state in individual form – that which is – can we begin to transcend our suffering, animal state. Our reality works in this way: what we focus on expands. If we, in any way fight, deny, hate or resist that which is then we cause the result of these thought forms (negative emotions) to increase and in the projection of our emotions we cause ourselves to suffer. Also, the more emotion we attribute to our focus, be it in the direction of resistance or of allowing, the quicker that which we focus upon manifests. So, another paradox, even in the midst of our destruction we create more of that which causes us to suffer.

To bring this post all together: Again, the mice are. When we allow them to be as they are instead of being mildly pissed at their existence in our homes and when we honour them to be as our fellow life forms of density #3, we jump off the rollercoaster ride of negative judgement and destruction, on to the bandwagon of positive creation, thereby increasing our enjoyment factor. Don’t not take them out; don’t not clean our toilets. Certainly, make our specific environments a little less mousy and a little less dirty but, (here’s another paradox and the key in all cases) accept that which is; honour all that is; and love unconditionally, even while practicing destruction.

Okay sisters and brothers, here is my very own reality check expressed to you: I am still in the process of practicing what I think I know. In other words, there is always a distinct possibility that I may be fulla baloney. It is clear to me however that through my flailing and mistake making I become more and more clear about the characteristics of who I desire to be and who I really am – my Infinite and Eternal, Authentic Self. Thus, for evermore, you are welcome to disregard everything that comes outta this awesome huckleberry pie hole I call my mouth.

Case in point: Last night, back at the Lake Camp, while I was in the deeps of REM mode (the dream now forgotten), I was freakin awakened by the same said meece I was talkin about bein at relative peaceness with earlier in the post. I detected a distinctive yet muted pitter-patter/skitter that entered my dream and got progressively louder. The critical moment of my extreme flail came to pass when the pitter-patter was felt, yea, about 3 inches from my nose and I came to the realization that a mouse was hiking up my sleeping bag.

If there was a camera on me you could have witnessed a degree of flailing and slashing about that would have no doubt rivaled the antics of a mental hospital inmate… and I am referring to those candidates for straight jackets. Though I didn’t see it the mouse musta went aflying; you would have needed no further evidence of my deficiency or, as I prefer to call it – my lackalacka. Your observation would have been akin to me jumping out of my skin as the gong was struck behind me while I meditated. No surprise, there is still awareness to achieve 🙂

The experience ended after I laughed aloud at myself in the realization that this was the perfect ending to the post called Of Mice and Me. Actually; the experience ended about 20 minutes later when I fell back asleep.

The Universe continues to humblize me and to my great relief, I continue to be reminded that I don’t know a thing. I continue to grow in to the remembrance of my Infinite and Eternal Authentic Spirit Self.

The Adventure Continues 🙂 Yippee n Yeeehaw!





The Little Butterfly That Did

24 08 2010

Reflecting Change

A short time ago I enjoyed one of the most uplifting experiences of my life… and it happened to be wee… very wee.

Balance

First, a little background info to bring y’all up to speed…

During an Ayahuasca journey in Calgary this spring I asked the shaman to help me. I shared with him that there was something about the masculine in me having taken a back seat to the feminine in me. I told him that in the interests of balance, the last 15 years of my life had been spent in the process of developing my feminine aspect.

Prior to this 15 year long process, I had no idea of the existence of our inherent polarity in this relative world that we’ve all been born in to and certainly, I would have scoffed at the suggestion. I completely understand then, if there be brothers n sisters who scoff at this post. Be that as it may, one of the wisdoms I’ve been able to soak up over time is that for me to scoff at the existence of something that is, doesn’t in any way lessen its existence, or its effect. In fact, until I allow and accept that which is then I only ever cause myself to suffer.

Polarity and Balance

I have, for some time, understood that just cuz I call my self a man and have a peschnazzel doesn’t mean I’m 100% masculine and just because women have vajayjays doesn’t mean they’re 100% feminine. I’m unclear as to whether or not that makes our percentages of essence 50/50, but from language to literature, much of, if not all of life can be polarized into the masculine and feminine. For instance, emotions are typically considered as feminine attributes; reason/logic as masculine. Still, I’m unclear…

The Storm is a Feminine Attribute

Now, I’ve been on the balancing track for so long that my masculine aspect has taken this back seat. As well, my masculine aspect was at best, partially developed, cuz, who knew?! Recently, I read Robert Bly‘s book Iron John about that and I’m currently on Matthew Fox‘s book The Hidden Spirituality of Men. Due to, as I mentioned, the lack of awareness of such a thing as a masculine aspect in the first place, whenever I had a girlfriend, the scene was acourse awesome for the first month but then, in a myriad of ways, I’d subconsciously kibosh the relationship.

This continues to happen and recently, my thought to me has been, ‘Brother, if y’keep messin up relationships… why keep gettin in to them? Why keep goin down the same path with the massive pit

Bummer Dood

spanning its width, just to fall in? Determine what essential part of you that yer gappin on, and then perhaps, if’n yer motivated, go back in with yer greater awareness…’

Sisters and brothers, I know everything is perfectly imperfect. I take full responsibility for me; my thoughts, actions and creations. I know that everyone in my life is my awesome mirror and as much as I am able and aware my preference is to make agreements over arguments. Thus, it is my responsibility to me, and to all of you universally, to continuously make me a better me and in so far as women and the balancing of my masculine and feminine aspects are concerned, here I have a great opportunity. Out here in the remotitude, I am growing in to this better me as, aside from Nua the cat, I am and have been, for a majority of the last two and a half months, the lone male.

So, in the direction of empowering my masculine aspect, the shaman helped me out with a process that when I remember to use it, empowers my masculinity. The simple two step method is as follows:

Masculine Symbol for Empowerment

  • Envision an eagle, wings spread and hovering over my head.
  • Invite all Masters who represent the masculine, to be with me.

Truth told: Every time I do this I feel lighter, I feel the Awesomeness surge through me and brothers n sisters, I stand up straighter indeed 🙂

On to the prime subject of this post: One day recently, I was at the main lodge working on the dock and reflecting on my manhood. I remembered to envision my spread-winged eagle and I asked the Brothers to show up as well. It was then the awareness came to me that instead of asking so many, why not just ask One. The reason I know this is possible is because in Absolute Reality there is only One and everything in relative existence is an aspect, a part of that One, including you n me. Put another way, consider a human body. Each of our bodies is comprised of trillions of cells. The metaphor here implies the body as the One, or Supreme Being and the cells of the body as aspects of It or you n me and All That Is.

Due to my uncertainty about it all, the next question that came up was, “Hm, I wonder if there even is such a thing as a Supreme Being?” It was then that my experience of the upliftment began – I was immediately distracted by a small white butterfly flapping and flailing around on the surface of the water. Now, I’ve only ever experienced butterflies in that state as done for and I lamented that the thing was fish bait… either that or it was done by drowning and in that moment it lifted off the water in to its freedom. Instantly awesomized, I burst in to laughter about how grand life is and about how quickly my question had been answered.

Freedom

The butterfly was in my mind done, I thought restricted by its circumstances and doomed. And then it was in the air. This is where the option to interpret my experience can go either one of two ways. Some will think ‘meaningless coincidence’ and others will think, ‘Of course, this is how the Universe works.’ I will happily leave your interpretation up to you and continue to share mine 🙂 The answer to my question of the existence of Supreme Beingness was for me then and is still now, very clear. My real life experience is as empirical proof, and it is so in my face that, unless I am a dummy, my answer couldn’t possibly be anything but a resounding, ‘Yes Yer Silliousness, of course there is such a thing as a Supreme Being!’

I also get that It is my Highest Self and it is my further understanding that Supreme Being is Highest Self to us all. It is the original paradox in that It is both polarities as well as genderless. We are all aspects of It and It manifests Its Isness as per the asking by those in the know.

A ClintTV Character

My next act was to remember the spread-winged eagle and to ask the Supreme Beingness to be with me – in essence to re-member our Awe-Full-Ness which is a quantum step beyond my Awe-Some-Ness. I straightened up and felt the empowerment of All That Is surge through me. I felt Absolute Bliss and better than that, in remembering the experience I Bliss once again 🙂 Giddyup!

A coupla minutes later my mind was on to other things and after I changed out of the waders I was using, I smartly put my left work boot on to my right foot. I was mystified as to how… and then I laughed aloud again, appreciating that I had the wits it took to get it before I started tying the laces.

PeacenLove out t’all y’all always in density #3,

me





Happy Labouring

3 08 2010

Giddified

I may have mentioned this topic before so, if that is the case, this then, will be an expansion. One of the most important mind-sets I’m very glad to have had going on while I’ve been here is that of happy labouring. This perspective came to me at the tail end of my experience in the restaurant biz when finally, after 25 years, I got how to serve without expectation of reward and guess what, lo and behold, my tips increased 🙂

Yep, no longer is my mentality, “What’s in it for me and I ain’t doin shit till I find out!” Now, because its awesomeness is known to me, “How may I contribute?” rules my life. My experience in taking the later notion has resulted in an ability to do whatever needs doin for longer periods; it has resulted in my being more full of life at the end of a day’s efforting and the clincher: it has resulted in less aches and pains. I am able to shovel out shit holes, scrub toilets, grub ho till the cows come home, chop wood and carry water and do anything required of me happily, all day, everyday until the boss sez, “We’re done.”

Modified Monk Staircase: Built

Happily labourin also means that what my little me would call work ain’t really work – brothers n sisters, it’s play 🙂 Life, as I now know it, is all about perspective and these days I’m inclined to go with the point of view that aligns best with whatever ends up with me bein awesomized. Also, the only responsibility I have for the next 3 months is to do what is asked of me thus, life for me has become very simple and now, more often than ever, I am aligned with my Path A Peace N Ease.

Tools of the Trade

Sisters and brothers, when we happily labour for each other there are many, seriously awesome, positive aspects. One, and it ain’t the least of which, is that we are very much appreciated. Another, is that since I left the restaurant industry 5 years ago, I’ve learned how to tile, drywall, paint, mill lumber, maintain and use a chainsaw, drive a bobcat, build a monk staircase out of dirt and skid raw timber out of the bush with a quad and a log arch. Along with a whole slew of other awesome skills, a major upside is that I have met and befriended multiple, leading edge n awesome brothers and sisters. Had I not been playing life exactly the way I play it, our paths simply wouldn’t have crossed. Now, it’s not like I have my ticket in any of these trades or even that I’m the go-to-guy for any sort of professional work, other than Happily Labouring, but I will definitely say that I am in full gratefultude and happy to be able to offer help to anyone in need.

This brings up my next point which is that being this way has also led me to try new things on my own, like learning how to use a sewing machine. My first project was to produce a meditation cushion and by all accounts, mine included, it was a bang up job 🙂 The upshot is that my self confidence quotient is top drawer compared to what used t’was. As well, I am now in the process of remembering that there is a level of being beyond even confidence and to the same end, I can definitely do anything put my way. I wouldn’t say, by any means, that I’m the quickest whip in the stable, but I will definitely give my self an A+ for tenacity.

Meditation Cushion by Clint

I’ve noticed that when one takes happily labourin as a way of life, part of the appreciation factor includes people wanting you to be around and vice versa, people wanting to be around you. I don’t recall the details ezactly, but when I was in grade school the teacher gave us an exercise that had us ask ourselves, “If the world ever went to shit (I’m paraphrasing here) and we had to pick a group of people to be in a small community with us who would we want around?” Would we want a policeman, a lawyer, a scientist, a teacher, a preacher, a zoo keeper? Well brothers n sisters, I’m here to share, that people with all these abilities might be worth having around depending on yer circumstances… aside from the lawyer acourse, but knowing what I know now, above all I’d want someone around who was open to happily doin any job – like shovelin shit if that’s what was needed by the group 🙂

Sawyerin in the Rain

Y’see, when I factor in the understanding that I am one with everyone and All That Is then what is actually goin down with my happily labouring for you is that I am truly helping my self. As you might get by now, I’m operatin a very selfish enterprise here. I’ve re-termed this form of selfishness as selfullishness cuz over the millennia, the term, selfish has attained a bad reputation. As an example of how our capitalistic, western culture has given selfishness a bad rep, let’s use a tree and its parts as a metaphor. The opposite of what I’m talking about, a perverted form of selfishness, would happen if a leaf of a tree said to a neighbouring leaf of the same branch, “Hey you. Other leaf! I’ve taken the water that came from our branch and bottled it. If you like, me being the magnanimous leaf that I am, I could possibly be persuaded to sell you a drop or two at a very reasonable price. See the branding? Doesn’t it reinvigorate your wiltedness just by lookin at it?! C’mon, make me an offer.”

Hmm, is that a simile? I ain’t sure, but in any case, selfullishness has been in the clintictionary for some time and along with giddified, awesomized and many other cool words, the clintictionary is an ever increasing testimonial of how rockin my life is on a moment by moment basis.

K, this post is bordering on too long, but before I finish up, I’ll post one more picture I took yesterday.

What Tha...

Till the next post, stay awesome y’all! You lawyers too cuz we’re all brothers n sisters eh 🙂





My Flatmate The Woodchuck

27 07 2010

Courtesy: Rick London

I met my flatmate today. She’s a woodchuck, also known as a ground hog… or Bill as I’m thinking of calling her. I’ve heard about her from others but we’ve never actually met. She lives under the floor of the top cabin, apparently alone and enters from a hole on the east side of the foundation. Apparently as well, she has at least a dozen relatives living on the hill below and each year of course brings more. According to Hannah, her estranged hubby lives below under the shop and another of her kin lives under Alice’s apartment but most of the Chuck Family dwell in holes on the hill.

We met while I was driving the PC up the hill with all my gear. I was changing abodes* from a tent down below to the telegraph linesman cabin on the hill top. I shut the machine off and immediately heard what I thought was a stampede. I looked around slightly uneasily and saw the hog in full charge coming toward me. Wow! When she’s runnin as fast as she can up to you and by you, if you’ve never experienced it before, the whole thing is rather astonishing. In the midst of my astoundedness, I was humoured by her scurrying, by the sound she made as she ran and by her serious intentedness to get where she was going no matter what’s in her way. I greeted her as she passed. I received no reply.

The awesomeness on top of an awesome hill in the awesome Great White North that's pretty much green at the moment.

We’ve only crossed paths once though there have been a few encounters otherwise and one happened as follows: I only got a few hours of sleep one night so I had a nap the next afternoon and during this I was startled awake by Bill’s chucking of wood. I was slow to realize it was her gnawing on the foundation and at that moment I understood how woodchucks have the reputation of being a pest. Yep, not only are they pretty loud like, their effectiveness is obvious; there is definitely no question as to can they chuck though from this reporter’s experience, there is no telling how much.

Fortunately for me I got me earplugs so I put em in and from then on I was golden… again.

Chuck on Ms. Chuck, chuck on.

Tha’s me till the next post brothers n sisters 🙂

PeaceInAndOut,

Clint

* I hafta vacate the top premises when guests come in cuz acourse it’s a well appreciated sleeping place, being that it’s as old as it is and that it’s the awesomeness on top of an awesome hill in the awesome Great White North… that’s not so much as white at the moment as it is green.





The Power Carrier

27 07 2010
The Awesome I-Don’t-Hafta-Hump-It-Myself Machine

Hey everyone I’m a serous billboard. When I find something I really like I hafta share it and this time it’s about a power tool that is awesome in its simplicity, ingenuity and more importantly, its functionality.

The Power Carrier (PC) is built by Honda but as I understand it is no longer sold here in North America. Hannah and her family have had the one we are using for the last 20 years or so. Being that it is so useful in the I-don’t-hafta-hump-it-my-self department I can’t imagine not having it around. Y’see, the hill that the main lodge is founded upon is quite steep. The top cabin is roughly 200 feet above the water so the PC is an invaluable machine for the sole reason that humping a load up that same grade would obviously take much longer as well as considerably more effort.

At this moment we are filling up a woodshed from empty and the PC makes a 500 pound load 500 yards away as easy as 1-2-3 simple. Soon, I’ll be bringin up half a dozen sheets of 4×8 plywood from the lake level and lemme tell ya I’m about giddy! Check out this link for more info on the awesomeness we call the PC: http://ww1.honda.co.uk/brochure/download/powerCarriers.pdf

If you happen to live or work in an environment where yer always carryin a buncha stuff then y’gotsta get yerself one. You’ll be thankin yer stars that such a thing exists.

T’yer health, wealth and happiness,

me 🙂





Hair Cuttin Hilarity

23 07 2010

Bearded Me

Instead of letting my hair and beard grow rampant for 3 months like the last time I was here I thought that this time it would be a good idea to have one of the sisters shear me.

So I asked Aileen to do the deed and thankfully, she happily obliged. I shared with her that I was thinking about an inch thick line from the back of my neck to my widow’s peak and that I would finish the line down through my mustache and beard. Zip, zip, zip, I envisioned it done in 5. Haha, hilarious! I’m crackin up at the thought of it. This however wasn’t to be the case as Aileen had a design of her own in mind. The pic of her awesome job shows the end result of what took a half hour. As a bonus I experienced an opportunity to let go of having it done my way and in my timing. I’m pretty happy about the outcome I hafta say 🙂

AileenOver Rocks my Heed

Mr. C Rules on Planet Clint (All Other Planets Exempt)

For the second installment a week or so later, we came up with the idea of cutting in a tree design. Then, in the midst of it all she tells me she’s gonna make it a christmas tree with lights n everything and I had to draw the line. I mean, that’s just weird!

DamdoTreeDoo

This one stayed for a coupla days and then Hannah offered to scribe in a fish. She did and it looks like a shark cuz apparently there wasn’t enough hair to do a steelhead. If you wanna see a pic of it then click this link to her site, FLYFISHERGIRL.COM. Next, we’re gonna wait a coupla weeks for my hair to grow back and do it up in to a steelhead. I’m giddy to see what she comes up with. She says she’s gonna post it on her website and potentially run a contest. The winner will have the best fish on his or her head and will receive a prize! Follow Hannah’s site for more info…

There’s something about my hair that I used to be attached to but I couldn’t say ezactly what. Acourse, like us all, during my life I’ve had multiple opportunities to experience attachment and one of the first times I realized I had an issue was when I felt the pang of having to give up a long used and well beloved toothbrush. A toothbrush! Holy man, at that point I seriously considered the fact that I might benefit by getting some therapy. Time actually won out as I didn’t feel the cost to reward ratio of hiring a therapist. So, I reluctantly let go of my toothbrush and set upon a path where things like letting go of hair that grows back anyway, now seems like an elementary exercise. Everything is temporary; change being the only constant.

As I see it for me, the trick now is to apply this lessoning to all attachments in my life and in this moment I am reminded of more than a few people who suggest that food, air and water are all attachments we will all eventually let go. For now I’ll start with the obvious ones like beer, coffee and cigarettes… along with a whole buncha other things… like sex… and chocolate. I have noticed that if the object of my attachment ain’t about then I don’t have to go lookin for it like I used to was. I call this a pseudo-addiction only cuz it differs in the jonesing department. Fortunately, or unfortunately, the thing about life is that it is all about giving us opportunities to look at what ain’t workin for us, so that we might reconsider.

I think I even have the answer where sex is concerned and sisters n brothers, it’s called abstinence or celibacy (post upcoming). I ain’t 100% clear on that tho… whatever, I’m on it and in the final analysis: Everything as it is in the Universe’s own timing 🙂 My experience has been that as long as I stay on the path of making me a better me, then that which ain’t compatible with my intention just falls by the wayside – no efforting, no trying, no using of will power – just seek me first the kingdom of Awesomeness within and all that I desire will transpire.

That’s me for this post. LovenPeace to us all 🙂

me





Dr. Bronner’s Peppermint Liquid Soap

11 07 2010
Sweeeet!

Pure Awesomeness

I hafta share with you all that Dr. Bronner’s Peppermint Soap is an absolutely amazing product. I get a chance to shower twice a week or so… when we’re at the Main Lodge as well as the first spike camp, not because there’s a lack of available water or that were scrimpin on fuel, but just cuz I’m happily labourin in the dirt all day everyday. Also it’s cuz I’m fairly pH balanced so I’m not throwin a lot a toxins outta me in the form of reek. I do wash my face fairly regular, at least once a day and I get to wash my pits n private parts once a week whether they needs it or not… y’know I clean up good eh 🙂

One of my points is that cleanliness out here has a different definition than in the urbanity. The other of my points and the lead sentence in this post is all about the awesomeness called Dr. Bronner’s Peppermint Soap. I tell u, brothers too, get a scrubby and go to town! Everybody, get the biggest container of it you can carry out and have yerself the shower of your life but for conservation’s sake be sure to use it sparingly as it is quite heavily concentrated. The essential oils go a long way toward this unique and sensational experience and I can share with you all that if your pits n private parts are anything like mine they will tingle mint-like for upwards of an hour afterward. Sweeeet!





The Bugs, The Bush and A Wolf

15 06 2010

Hey everyone 🙂

Well it looks as though this posting is longer than the other two by quite a bit. In the days to come I’ll be posting once every week or 9 days and potentially the interval between posts may be longer. Hannah’s IT guy back in Smithers reported to her that a part for setting up the internet at the Nass camp got damaged so there is a good probability that we won’t have access and I won’t be able to write a blog next week. Oh well, as it is eh 🙂

Last week we hiked 6 miles round trip down river to one of Hannah’s spike camps and wow, what an adventure! Hannah never knows what the trails or the camps are going to look like after a winter has passed. This time it took us 3 and a half hours but last year her round trip took 7. The difference comes from how many willows and alders you have to chop through on the trail and the winter of 08/09 was heavy duty in the snow department… this year… not so much. After we arrived at the spike camp we did the rounds to see how things fared the winter and we didn’t see any sign of equipment, gear or materials that had been damaged. Bonus!

Here, standing water is a fixture and in huge proportion too. The amount of bugs in yer face is equally as huge. Even as the words horde and relentless come to mind my experiment with bug consciousness is proceeding nicely. I have a perfect opportunity to practice P.I.A. (Peaceness in Action) with the bugs. I allow them to be in my face and to have their way with me instead of waving about like a madman. I get bit a couple of times but no where near the amount I would have thought considering the constant cloud hovering around me.

The fact of course is that the cloud of bugs is going to be there, my reaction is the difference between suffering or not. The itch is; scratching is the option taken into and toward degrees of suffering. Pain is; out-of-peaceness or a lack of allowance is the option. At the moment I’m writing this I’m rubbing a couple of mosquito bites on my left ankle. Everything in its own time including expanding in to my new awareness of how things is or of how Awesome I can imagine all of us to be. There is neither any rush required nor any berating my self for not being where I think I should be on what I like to call The Path a Peace n Ease.

A few days ago I watched as a mosquito did its business on my right thumb. All mosquitoes that suck blood are female. I find that interesting. She speared my flesh three times. It was amazing actually… a coupla times by the look of her fat red belly I thought that she had to be finished. After she did finish sucking my blood she extricated her proboscis and flew away toward the window just like a bank robber leaving the scene. I had to laugh when she, in her escape got herself caught in a spider web. A female caught by a female, I resolved to see how she was faring in the morning.

Well I couldn’t tell you the exactabouts of what happened to the mosquito but she was gone in the morning. I wonder, was she eaten by the spider or did she get away? The web looks old… I feel myself ambivalent to her whereabouts.

Right now I’m having a discussion with Aileen. As I perceive it, the subject of our convo is me not appreciating her. Her point is that parts of her are all swollen up from bug bites and as we’re at this moment in the house, my killing mosquitoes would be something she would appreciate. According to her and I paraphrase slightly, “I should fcuk my experiment and kill the damn things. Please. I’ll feed you really great stew. I just want one dead!”

I hafta say, I am inclined to her cause. I shall commence killing the mosquito to help a sister out 🙂 I am curious though, what are the repercussions? Hmmm, that which is the mosquito, I kill without malice… and here is my opportunity to act in kind. She is right in front of me, now dancing on my left hand and now spearing me. I feel the instant itch and then another itch a couple seconds in to her operation. She’s sucking and filling up. Should I get her before she finishes and leaves? Yes. Smack! There is a big spatter of blood on the back of my left hand… and in its midst, a mashed mosquito… one wing stickin up… a leg stickin out… still moving? No. Ok, here’s another of her sisters – gone now. If I see her again and have a good chance at getting her – I’ll strike. I’m fully on the band wagon now! While indoors, I’ll help my brothers and sisters… and ostensibly my self by killing the mosquito 🙂

A few minutes later, my kill is still a mashed mess, though now it is drying up on the back of my hand. As I ponder the experience and view my results I find my self… still loving – of everything, everyone and All That Is… including my self. I see that the key is not the lack of malice but unconditional Love for again, everything, everyone and All That Is… including my self. Whether I harm/kill another life form or not is all about my volition and the state of my mind at the time of the act. Am I balanced? Or otherwise? Irritated just a little am I? That’s a dis-ease I’m experiencing and an imbalanced mind is the cause. Brothers n sisters, I am realizing that life can be as easy as black and white and conversely it is as easy as knowing that all shades of grey are the domain of the ego and it’s degrees of hell.

Ten seconds ago I inadvertently rubbed the back of my left hand and I got one last glimpse of her as her mashed mosquito husk fell to the floor. I’ve just finished reintegrating my blood by licking it up… we’ll see if I survive. As for her, the energy that animates everything also animates her. Energy can’t not exist though it does change form so all that has happened in the killing of the mosquito is that the energy which enlivened it as an individuated aspect now ‘returns’ to its Source. This is the same non-physical Source from which we all hail. As I see it there is no mosquito heaven separate from any other heaven.

Ok there’s one biting my ankle and now I see her. Now I don’t. I’m watching for her now… still don’t see her… but I feel the itch… I hear her or a sister of hers in my right ear… gone – for now. Hmmmm I wonder: am I going to hear her or feel her next time we cross paths? Remarkable, I’m experiencing the sensation of itchy all over. In this moment I am having difficulty maintaining P.I.A… I am also experiencing the sensations of a need to maliciously kill next time I have the opportunity. I shall remain aware of these sensations so as to objectively witness my self next time the opportunity to end another being’s life occurs.

I swallowed a mosquito recently while happily labouring amongst a storm of them… I heard they’re good protein if you eat a 1000 of them. I had one bug experience worth sharing while at the spike camp. Without noticing it at all during its roughly 3 minute mugging of my bodily fluid, one fell from my forehead like it had just passed out from drinking too much of my blood-booze. Seriously, it face planted off my leg and careened to somewhere on the dirt – it was so full I wondered if it blew up upon impact… likely not eh 🙂

After having progressed in my ability to be with the bugs and not freak out like what used to was, I think it’s time to start up the MMS www.mms.com. I’m pretty sure I’m fairly pH balanced so I’ll start it up at ten drops and go from there. I’ll report my findings as soon as I’m aware of them.

Aileen made a hot chocolate with black pepper and butter and y’know… cocoa powder. She was sayin it was a secret recipe… so secret that even she didn’t know it till she made it 🙂 It’s Awesome! We agree that it almost tastes like it has alcohol in it! Very cool. 4 heaping tablespoons of cocoa powder and a third of a cup of brown sugar and a whole mess of other ingredients for two cups of steamin hot Awesomeness!

On Thursday the 10th we repaired the foundation of the main lodge by jacking up the structure with a hydraulic bottle jack, removing the old rounds and installing new ones. The whole undertaking took a coupla hours and went by without hitch. Hannah used to bring her cat Cinders up here every season until she died last summer and of course Cinders used to use the area under the lodge for among other things, pooping. Just as we were finishing the project under the cabin my one and only close experience with her poop was to scrape it from my hand. It is cool for me to report that my mind was balanced throughout.

I smashed my left forefinger with a hammer one morning last week… nice. As soon as it was done… and I stopped wincing, I remembered that awareness of the right here and right now is a key component to feeling my way along on the straight and narrow of The Path a Peace n Ease. In that space ‘accidents’ don’t happen. This brought on my wondering about the etymology of the word accident. Though I can’t find it in any dictionary it seems to me that the operative syllable is ‘cid’ or cide which mean killer… hmmm interesting again 🙂

Thankfully, one of the lessons I learned from Hannah 4 years ago when I was here is to do what ever it takes to get whatever needs doin, done. “Git ‘er Done” as I’ve heard a redneck or two say. I’m just now wondering if there is a more insightful redneck wisdom. To do whatever it takes using whatever tools and materials you have on hand is the way of life as it is out here in the sticks. Not having a corner hardware store to run to for every need and having supplies only available once every two weeks accustoms one to excelling with what is available. In her many years out here, Hannah has become somewhat of a ‘Macgyver’, make-shifting many a remedy.

As we entered the first spike camp this week the day was balmy but soon turned cool and began to rain. The whole three days we were at the camp it rained intermittently though it in no way impeded our ability to get things done. We erected a tarp over the mill and ran it for a few hours even through a torrential downpour or two. This time, when we left after staying three days, we came across our waders that we had stashed in the bough of a tree. A couple of them were missing and we found them useless as a bear or wolf had chewed them to a shred of their former selves.

Sunday the 13th was our second night away from the lake lodge. In the evening around 11, Perry’s dog Lakota suddenly barked, jumped up from seemingly sleeping to run out of view and around the corner of the cabin. She was growling as I looked, and there, not 50 feet from the both of us, was a timber wolf indifferently looking back at us. It was standing on a log near the bottom of a hill that runs the perimeter of the north edge of the camp. As I looked at its eyes my first thought was that it wanted Lakota to chase it so it could lead her to the pack that was just over the top of the ridge. So I, in not so peaceful a manner yelled, “Wolf!” I yelled again to Hannah, who about a half hour before had gone to her tent that there was a wolf in camp.

Presently, she came out with her Marlin 45-70 Gov’t rifle which is a hefty weapon she carries as she walks the trails on the off chance that she may have to stop a bear. The next thing I know, Bang! Lakota ran, the wolf ran, I ducked, and I swear, had I not experienced a sphincter factor of a full 10 I would have soiled my drawers for sure. These reactions all took less than a second and after I regained some composure and looked up the wolf had stopped near the top of the ridge to look back. Hannah got to where I was, used her bear banger which shoots a flare and a loud cap to a distance of about 100 feet and the wolf vanished out of sight.

My reaction to yell came from my yet undeveloped ability to remain in peace no matter the circumstances I am faced with, which is my biggest motivation for meditation. To remain balanced in the midst of an experience I am not prepared for is to me, meditation’s major testament. Like the commercial I remember from back in the day featuring a monk who is in meditation with a massive gong right behind him and who is unfazed by even an iota when it is struck. I aspire to this level of centeredness. I have noticed progress toward that direction in certain aspects of my life. Next time I have the opportunity to look a wolf from 50 feet out, I look forward to exhibiting a calmness of mind so as to assess the situation from a place of peace before I act as opposed to calling the alarm off the hop. As it was the wolf was just standing there and even though I know it would take only an instant for it to move, to act always from a balanced mind is my prime directive. Next time I’d like to be able to consider taking a picture and if not that then to be able to at least send it a telepathic hello with a smile on my face.

While out here, I have often wondered what the experience would feel like and how I would respond if I encountered a bear or a wolf on route between camps or came across one in camp while going to the shitter. If the animal was just standing there I have a vision of my self all peaceful like telepathizing th’Love and it continuing on with whatever it was doing. Even if it was coming at me because I had come between it and its’ offspring what would there to be done other than to remain at peace?

Perry here tells the story of being out in the bush with a dozen other peeps. The group walked between a sow and her cubs. The first Perry noticed something amiss was when he saw the cubs climbing up a tree in a hurry. The next thing they all noticed was the sow coming at them on the charge. Perry, in a modicum of peace and knowing that there was very little chance the whole group was going to come out unscathed held up his hands and called, “Whoa momma, whoaaaa.” The bear rose on its hind legs, smelled about a bit, growled once and went back to its cubs.

I mean, if I was being charged what viable options would I have other than to remain chilled and respond similarly? To run in fear surely means my being attacked and my potential death because I know it can run faster than me; to fire a rifle at it, if I even had one – which I don’t, would mean I would have to remain at peace long enough to cease quivering and hit it in a place that would stop it for sure.

Finding the time or the wherewithal to exercise is certainly not an issue around here. I imagine that what we are doing here is very much what it was like to be a pioneer as everything we do is about some pretty extreme physical labour. On both of our 6 mile hikes to and from the first spike camp we all carried some fairly heavy packs filled with all our individual needs as well as food and equipment/materials that Hannah needed to transfer from here to there. All this also exists to increase our potential for calorie consumption and muscle gain. The whole 3 mile hike one way is quite a serious obstacle course. Creeks and rivers, muddy bogs and snow felled alders as well as willows dot the trail and can make the trip an event worthy of the most intense hiking experiences. It is all very awesome and wonderful… for someone who is in relative good shape. If one ain’t then I imagine their experience might be a little like a living hell.

To return to the main lodge is always a treat as though we just returned home to the light from the darkness of the wild. The whole experience of being here is of the wilderness of course, but as Hannah likes to call it, the main lodge is ‘Downtown’ because it has amenities such as a hot shower, a laundry facility, a wider range of food options as well as cabins to sleep in as opposed to tents. As one might infer from the words ‘main’ and ‘spike’, the main lodge and its comfort factor is greater compared to the spike camps. Can you imagine how awesome a hot shower feels out here after 3 days in a place without one and 3 mile hike both ways? Hannah also refers to the main lodge as ‘Uptown’ due to its steep 100 yard climb from the lake. The telegraph linesman’s cabin where Perry and I are sleeping is a further 200 yards up the grade. So Uptown and Downtown Bushville it is 🙂

Heli Day is coming up on Thursday the 17th. It promises to be a relatively hectic event and if not hectic then exciting for sure. At 1700 bucks an hour to rent the heli, for Hannah the experience will likely be hectic especially when she has to rely on others to get stuff where it’s supposed to go without damage. For me it’s guaranteed excitement 🙂 I’ll be telepathically sending her th’Love and wishing her peace of mind.

The mill is an interesting piece of machinery. After Hannah showed us how to use it Perry and I sawed up a half dozen good sized logs ranging from 18 inch diameters and 12 foot lengths to 8 inches and 8 foot dimensions. We are pretty sure we’re ready for the heli on Thursday when it will sling the 1600 pound load of lumber, the mill and the quad down to the Nass camp.

I’m not sure where I’ll be stationed as yet but it’ll either be the main lodge, the first spike camp or the last at the Nass River. One of my duties will be to make sure all the supplies that need moving get on to the net and to set it to the long line from the helicopter. As well, I’ll potentially be rigging up the mill and the quad for relocation. There, we will be spending the next two weeks building a full camp including a main lodge that Hannah wants to use for a staging area to run fisherman in a jet boat up and down the Nass.

It never really gets dark here at this time of year. There is always a twilight and I can still read the small print of my book at 10pm. By midnight it is more difficult though making my way around outside all night is no problem at all.

I telepathically send you all th’Love and wish you all peace of mind. As my dear sister from another mother, Little Woo sez, “Etheric hugs” to everyone!

Yer cosmic bro on the path,

Clint





Mirrorship and Reflectionism

7 06 2010

Well we’ve been here a full week and there were some interesting happenings brothers n sisters. Probably the biggest thing was my reaction to Hannah telling me I couldn’t sprout some lentils and chickpeas the way I wanted. It doesn’t matter the details of the drama only that I know my reaction as an experience of out-of-peaceness; an indicator of an imbalanced mind and caused by either hatin what is or wishin for what ain’t. Cuz I say for my self that I desire a balanced mind then it follows that I should be askin my self why my default position is reactionary. David Hawkins sez the positioning is the problem. All positions are reactionary and suffering is the result. If I take a stand on anything then I’m demanding that this reality, the only constant of which is change, better not fcuking change. Even if I don’t use the word fcuk I still know I’m reacting if the experience I’m having is anything but P.I.A. (Peaceness In Action).

Ok, that’s the theory nows about the practice. To apply what I think intellectually to my everyday reality is where I’ll find the real testimony. Hannah thus becomes my perfect mirror, my awesome reflection so that I can dissolve my ‘buttons’ by looking at them objectively. They will be pushed guaranteed and because I have an interest in dissolving all mental conditionings I am grateful for my sister Hannah – without her my mental conditioning would still exist and with her it no longer lays dormant like a volcano that will explode one day as well as continuously cause stress (suffering) to the surface of the earth. If wise, my question is never, “Why is that biotch pushing my buttons!?” but “Why do I have buttons for my awesome sister Hannah to push?” And once I have this perspective then, again, how do I apply it so that I don’t react in the moment my buttons are pushed? Wow, what a rigmarole! This is of course the reason I would, if I were wise, already be established in a regular practice of meditation. Ah well, that’s coming along and as my friend Normandy sez, “Whadayagonnado when you live in a shoe? Well, move to a boot and get laced.”

The days, since we arrived have gone by very quickly, just as it does when life is awesome. Yep, playin and happily labourin in life… I mean we’re supposed to be celebratin right!? This week I played at shovelin poo from the outhouse holes, shoveling top soil, tarping boxed appliances, installing the water pump, cuttin up rags, raking the trails, leveling a wood shed, shoveling more poo, creating a rock garden to border a wee creek in the main camp, running stuff around with the PC (see photo) from here to there, and writing this blog. A slew of other things went down too: while one day passed a heli flew in and landed unexpectedly – it’s always cool to be around helicopters. We’re going to be going up in them a coupla times while I’m here 🙂 A half hour after that, I turned my head and not more than 150 feet away was a bull moose chompin on the tender shoots of a willow tree. Frequently we look toward the inlet of the lake and see a cow and calf moose grazing the tender shoots there. At this precise moment (11:50pm) I’m inside the main lodge watching half a dozen mice squeak and fight each other for the biggest bits about. One just played with my pant leg and a half hour ago one ran across my foot J how bout that eh 🙂 Of course, they are absolutely everywhere. This brings to my mind the funny about the killing thing. The Buddhists teach that killing anything is… against policy and for some of us it’s the same but I’m betting that every one of us including the monastery would exterminate a bed bug or mouse infestation as best they could. A good question would be why we attract pests in the first place. Until that question is answered and we start practicing the lesson of what we learn, up north we are using a very ingenious mouse trap with a bucket half filled with water, a wire spanning its open diameter and piercing a beer can from top to bottom so it rolls. The bait? Peanut butter and it works quite well. (no photo)

K, here’s tha deal with bug consciousness as I’m experiencing it. I’m coming to clarity with the experiment… at this moment I have a mosquito in my ear 🙂 … I’m going to hold off on starting with the MMS as a bug repellent. It seems to me that mosquito consciousness may be caused by more than an imbalanced pH factor. I remembered that as the Vipassana technique teaches, the core imbalance is always within the mental realm first and the intellect as well as the body are in themselves, symptoms. Over the many years of being out here Hannah has developed an ability to not be bothered by them. She shared yesterday, and I paraphrase, “Allowing them to bite a couple of times seems to cause them to be elsewhere.” As per Vipassana, the biggest component is not to react to their biting, as something to bug you being about will always be the case. To me, this whole reality is nothing other than that – a distraction… one Awesome and Beautiful distraction from my focusing on the Light Being that I Am and We Are. So I will set forth with a greater awareness of bug consciousness and see where that takes me 🙂

As for the MMS, if you checked out this link on the last (my first) post then you would have found that MMS is a huge alkalinator that pH balances the blood in a huge hurry. My intellectualizing says that bugs only bite because our blood is in an acidic state. That is to say, less than 7 pH-wise and when our blood is like that to any degree our bodies are to the same level, composting. Microbes begin to flourish as part of the process. When our blood is balanced pH-wise or in homeostasis then the composting microbes can not flourish. They will always exist to some degree because they are a part of the density that is this 3rd dimension, which is always subject to change and death.

Can y’believe I’m havin fun?!

🙂

LovenPeace to us all,

c