The Little Butterfly That Did

Reflecting Change

A short time ago I enjoyed one of the most uplifting experiences of my life… and it happened to be wee… very wee.

Balance

First, a little background info to bring y’all up to speed…

During an Ayahuasca journey in Calgary this spring I asked the shaman to help me. I shared with him that there was something about the masculine in me having taken a back seat to the feminine in me. I told him that in the interests of balance, the last 15 years of my life had been spent in the process of developing my feminine aspect.

Prior to this 15 year long process, I had no idea of the existence of our inherent polarity in this relative world that we’ve all been born in to and certainly, I would have scoffed at the suggestion. I completely understand then, if there be brothers n sisters who scoff at this post. Be that as it may, one of the wisdoms I’ve been able to soak up over time is that for me to scoff at the existence of something that is, doesn’t in any way lessen its existence, or its effect. In fact, until I allow and accept that which is then I only ever cause myself to suffer.

Polarity and Balance

I have, for some time, understood that just cuz I call my self a man and have a peschnazzel doesn’t mean I’m 100% masculine and just because women have vajayjays doesn’t mean they’re 100% feminine. I’m unclear as to whether or not that makes our percentages of essence 50/50, but from language to literature, much of, if not all of life can be polarized into the masculine and feminine. For instance, emotions are typically considered as feminine attributes; reason/logic as masculine. Still, I’m unclear…

The Storm is a Feminine Attribute

Now, I’ve been on the balancing track for so long that my masculine aspect has taken this back seat. As well, my masculine aspect was at best, partially developed, cuz, who knew?! Recently, I read Robert Bly‘s book Iron John about that and I’m currently on Matthew Fox‘s book The Hidden Spirituality of Men. Due to, as I mentioned, the lack of awareness of such a thing as a masculine aspect in the first place, whenever I had a girlfriend, the scene was acourse awesome for the first month but then, in a myriad of ways, I’d subconsciously kibosh the relationship.

This continues to happen and recently, my thought to me has been, ‘Brother, if y’keep messin up relationships… why keep gettin in to them? Why keep goin down the same path with the massive pit

Bummer Dood

spanning its width, just to fall in? Determine what essential part of you that yer gappin on, and then perhaps, if’n yer motivated, go back in with yer greater awareness…’

Sisters and brothers, I know everything is perfectly imperfect. I take full responsibility for me; my thoughts, actions and creations. I know that everyone in my life is my awesome mirror and as much as I am able and aware my preference is to make agreements over arguments. Thus, it is my responsibility to me, and to all of you universally, to continuously make me a better me and in so far as women and the balancing of my masculine and feminine aspects are concerned, here I have a great opportunity. Out here in the remotitude, I am growing in to this better me as, aside from Nua the cat, I am and have been, for a majority of the last two and a half months, the lone male.

So, in the direction of empowering my masculine aspect, the shaman helped me out with a process that when I remember to use it, empowers my masculinity. The simple two step method is as follows:

Masculine Symbol for Empowerment

• Envision an eagle, wings spread and hovering over my head.
• Invite all Masters who represent the masculine, to be with me.

Truth told: Every time I do this I feel lighter, I feel the Awesomeness surge through me and brothers n sisters, I stand up straighter indeed 🙂

On to the prime subject of this post: One day recently, I was at the main lodge working on the dock and reflecting on my manhood. I remembered to envision my spread-winged eagle and I asked the Brothers to show up as well. It was then the awareness came to me that instead of asking so many, why not just ask One. The reason I know this is possible is because in Absolute Reality there is only One and everything in relative existence is an aspect, a part of that One, including you n me. Put another way, consider a human body. Each of our bodies is comprised of trillions of cells. The metaphor here implies the body as the One, or Supreme Being and the cells of the body as aspects of It or you n me and All That Is.

Due to my uncertainty about it all, the next question that came up was, “Hm, I wonder if there even is such a thing as a Supreme Being?” It was then that my experience of the upliftment began – I was immediately distracted by a small white butterfly flapping and flailing around on the surface of the water. Now, I’ve only ever experienced butterflies in that state as done for and I lamented that the thing was fish bait… either that or it was done by drowning and in that moment it lifted off the water in to its freedom. Instantly awesomized, I burst in to laughter about how grand life is and about how quickly my question had been answered.

Freedom

The butterfly was in my mind done, I thought restricted by its circumstances and doomed. And then it was in the air. This is where the option to interpret my experience can go either one of two ways. Some will think ‘meaningless coincidence’ and others will think, ‘Of course, this is how the Universe works.’ I will happily leave your interpretation up to you and continue to share mine 🙂 The answer to my question of the existence of Supreme Beingness was for me then and is still now, very clear. My real life experience is as empirical proof, and it is so in my face that, unless I am a dummy, my answer couldn’t possibly be anything but a resounding, ‘Yes Yer Silliousness, of course there is such a thing as a Supreme Being!’

I also get that It is my Highest Self and it is my further understanding that Supreme Being is Highest Self to us all. It is the original paradox in that It is both polarities as well as genderless. We are all aspects of It and It manifests Its Isness as per the asking by those in the know.

A ClintTV Character

My next act was to remember the spread-winged eagle and to ask the Supreme Beingness to be with me – in essence to re-member our Awe-Full-Ness which is a quantum step beyond my Awe-Some-Ness. I straightened up and felt the empowerment of All That Is surge through me. I felt Absolute Bliss and better than that, in remembering the experience I Bliss once again 🙂 Giddyup!

A coupla minutes later my mind was on to other things and after I changed out of the waders I was using, I smartly put my left work boot on to my right foot. I was mystified as to how… and then I laughed aloud again, appreciating that I had the wits it took to get it before I started tying the laces.

PeacenLove out t’all y’all always in density #3,

me