Wolfitude

I’ve spent the last three weeks away from the lake lodge (and its internet access) doing my part in client services and in closing up the lower spike camps. As has happened on more than one occasion in these 5 months of being in the bush I was asked to happily labour for days alone, at each of the camps, getting what needed doin done. The experience of solitude has been amazing – just me, a camp and the denizens of the out-hereness. I am hugely grateful for the opportunity.

One day, earlier this month, I was walking aimfully with the autumn sun toward Corner Pool, a run near Tobacco Camp. I was 10 minutes down river and had just passed the path that exits the main trail toward Twilight Pool when I remembered Hannah having asked me to take out some of the dead fall that, ever-present, inhibits the clients’ easy step. My mind made up, I turned abruptly and twenty feet from me, on the path and in mid step, was a grey wolf.

At once I felt a vortex of energy² form in my midsection and as my eyes connected with its, it gave a hop, curled its left upper lip, and let out a short but deep growl that if anthropomorphized, woulda meant, “Shit! I been had!”

It did not occur to me that I was being stalked or even that it was following me; it was just there and I was giddified! In the midst of my giddification I stayed put and shortly after the initial surprise I, in as calm and uplifting a voice as I could muster, said, “Hey 🙂 howzit goin?” Immediately, the wolf jumped to the right of the trail in to the bush and vanished.

I could hear it moving about and I did catch glimpses; the question of, ‘wolfpack’ crossed my mind. I waited on the trail with an acute awareness of the ecstatic feeling in my gut until, after about three minutes, it re-entered my sight-line into the openness of the path. It stopped to look at me and I was aware of an amping up of the vortex in my midsection. In those moments all that came to my mind to do was to again speak, “Hello.” In reply, it turned and trotted down the trail.

The wolf was just about gone from sight and I was with naught but elation for my brief and awesome encounter. Inspired to experiment, I moved the energy from midsection to chest and instantly, as quickly as it had left, the wolf turned about and returned to within thirty feet of me.

Again, we stood together, our eyes connecting us. Its ears rolled back to a position indicating calm and just like we would imagine a beloved pet, it looked about, lolled its tongue and panted. I smiled as a child. It felt to me then that it was a he, and it came to me to understand that he was willing to share his world with that which didn’t fear him. I intuited that we had just confirmed our brotherhood³.

After about three minutes, because I am, thankfully, to less and less a degree, so trained, I fell from the Awesomeness and spoke. Even as I opened my still awesome huckleberry pie hole to say something else that didn’t matter, I knew I had, for a third time in this one experience, flailed⁴ – he turned and walked up the path toward Tobacco. After a time, I continued on to Twilight and Corner to get done what needed doin.

The meat of this post in a paragraph: I attribute all of this, aside from my flailing, to a conscious choice, made in peace from a still place, to raise to the all accepting Love vibration and awareness of that which is me heart chakra. I experienced elation beyond few events prior and for the extended moments of a few minutes there was just a silent lucidity.

As I have since contemplated my experience, I am aware that as soon as I saw what was to become my brother the wolf, I was acutely aware of the rush of energy in my midsection between my sacral chakra and solar plexus. There was no sphincter factor⁵ whatsoever so I knew my self to be, in that moment, unfearful to any degree. The whole time I was open to whatever was going to happen – even after having contemplated the worst case scenario⁶.

At no time did I have the inclination to take out my bear spray, bear banger or tool of any sort for a defense of any kind. As I mentioned, only once did I experience the stray thought form of wolf pack and this, I gave no energy. My sphincter factor remained nonexistent.

It is my assertion that this alone allowed me to transcend the baser instinct of fight or flight and to operate within the intuitive reality of unconditional Love. Said another way, I chose to come from my heart. The next time I have the honour of meeting up with brother or sister wolf (and it will happen) I envision there being no words, only my feeling of unconditional Love directed from heart chakra, expressed toward the other I feel and know as My Self.

You might recall from my earlier posts that I am conducting an experiment this life and this experience has been integral for sure. The following was once my thesis and is now fast becoming my reality: When a wild animal feels the fear of another being’s pinched off root chakra (a sphincter factor to any degree) it reacts accordingly and assumes that what it is observing and feeling is its predator or prey. I contend that when a wild animal feels unconditional Love, which only through our conscious intention extends through our heart chakras, it feels as safe as if it were in its mother’s womb.

It occurs to me that one difference between a human and an animal is that where the animal remains in survival mode and subject to its environment, we have the potential to rise above the fear of the sphincter factor in to the objective reality of unconditional Love. Here, we know we create every aspect of our reality and our environment responds.

It also comes to mind that a similarity between us and animals is that, as humanimals⁷ the majority of us live in survival mode most of the time. This then, is our choice: to continue the fear based relationship we have with most everything and everyone outside (and sometimes within) our families or to realize that the cliché of, “Love Conquers All” is a cliché for a reason.

My prime lessoning from this experience comes from a classroom that I have been in, it seems for eons, and is one whose main principle is to shut this awesome huckleberry pie hole a mine and merely feel. That said I am in no way disappointed by my performance cuz:

• There was no sphincter factor or fear;
• I experienced the awareness to move the energy from the vibration of the lower chakras up to the heart;
• I did shut it for a time and;
• I look forward to the next time.

To finish I’ll let y’all in on a rambling thought going through me heed. It’s tellin me, ‘A wolf is one thing brother, but I’d like to see what you’d do if you came across the presence of a bull moose in full rut… cuz it’s that time of the year right now and in that space, they’z plum dumb!’

My answer in this moment is twofold: First, thanks for throwing out the potential of another worst case scenario for consideration and second, because I have no fear of it happening (strong emotion with which to attract), I will attract that experience not before I’m ready for it. Whether or not there’d be an initial sphincter factor is yet to be determined but with this successful experiment under me belt I’d be giving me good odds against 🙂

Again, I feel it wise to ask if at any point in the post you have felt that I have not been clear or that I am fulla baloney then please let me know. I welcome a discussion of your view.

Wolfitude is now in the Clintictionary and is a catch-all term that describes the understanding of what all animals use as language, including us of the human variety. This language has as its base, little to do with vocal utterances except as symbols or as an amplification of feeling. In other words, language has everything to do with the transmitting and receiving of emitted energy or energy in motion – emotion.

² Energy is and is never static, and energy in vibration is a vortex. The only question for me is whether my energy is aligned, or crosswise to the vortex of my Soul’s purpose. Through the heart chakra emanates the Soul’s purpose and from our Soul, when we choose to align with it, comes a very evident Guiding Principle. If we’s crosswise to this Guiding Principle sisters n brothers, then we are as a ship without the use of our keel.

³ Brotherhood and any word describing a siblinghood such as brother, sister, brethren and sistren refers to the way I view relationship. For me, I know that you know, that I know and feel my self as one with everyone and All That Is. The highest honourific I can bestow upon you is, Brother or Sister. The Queen of England will be addressed as Sister for the same reason. Everything that has a gender is included. If it’s a tree then I may call it either 🙂 Hm, never done it to a blade of grass tho…

⁴ To flail is also in the Clintictionary and is defined as struggling; floundering and falling from the Awesomeness with no semblance of awareness to guide me. It will be the topic of a future post called The Quest for the Holy Flail.

⁵ Sphincter Factor is an expression in the Clintictionary of course, implying a tightening of the anus. For thirty some odd years of my life I held a perpetual sphincter factor of roughly 9.5 – a seriously tight anus. It is scaled between zero and ten, it happens when we experience fear, and sometimes, in its more subtler expressions, we don’t even know it! A 9.5 sphincter factor might happen when, if we are afraid of a spider, we notice one crawling up our arm. A zero sphincter factor is the goal and does not, brothers n sisters, in any way mean a gaping anus, it just means relaxed.

Further, to say that my sphincter factor remained non-existent while I was with brother wolf is not to say that I am beyond it under other circumstances – like happily labouring for instance. I’ve noticed I am forgetful of remaining focused on the perpetual open-ness of all my chakras while I labour. All of a sudden I’ll notice some lame tune going on over and over in my head and it is always combined with a sphincter factor of about 3 – again, thankfully, less and less so as I go 🙂

⁶ My M.O. is to consider objectively (without emotion) the worst case scenario so as to gather potential options, yet to always focus on appreciatin whatever’s in my current sphere of awareness.

⁷ Humanimal is a term coined by a brother from another mother, meaning to me that we as humans are paradoxically, Spirit and animal at the same time. This is a topic already covered a coupla times. At the risk of beating a dead point deader, when we don’t know we have this choice and experience the symptom of a perceived lack of choice, we always end up suffering to some degree. Basically, when we suffer we are playing the humanimal; when not, then Spirit. To say it in the positive: When we are joyful, we are experiencing life as our Spirit Selves. Sisters n brothers, don’t that feel natural? Could life be simpler?!